So long "Redneck Bubba"!

So long "Redneck Bubba" ! This blog is dedicated to you.

From your fat overfed kid that the first time I met identified me, by telling me to "leave mexican!".Your unmowed grass, that was an eyesore for the whole block, that I despised.
Your trash thrown over the back fence, because your kids were too lazy to walk to a trash can.
The loud rap music that played when you were not at home. The leaking pool pump, that you took with you when you left. The four wheeler parked in the front yard, and the neighbors trash which you collected in front of your garage.

Good riddance! You wont be missed.

Meagan Fox

Ok, Meagan - Lisa is completely right on this. Your words and actions are contradicting each other. Your words say - "I don't want to be a sex object" , but you pose in MAXIM? You accept roles that use your body and do "soft porn" to promote your sexuality.

Just face it, You want to be the next Angelina, but your big pouty botox lips still lack some filling.
Your freckles could use some lasering off. And most of all, your whiny. - Whiny is a complete turn off.

Sure - lots of guys want to sleep with you, but noone wants to keep you. Your sluttiness doesnt equal - marriage.

Stop lying to yourself, Kiss a few more girls and be a has been when your plastic surgeon cant hide your cellulose and wrinkles.

How to hunt a carebear.

http://www.yankeepotroast.org/archives/2009/04/so_you_want_to.html




"THERE is no greater test of a man’s mettle than the tracking and killing of the American Ursa cura—the Care Bear, an animal known for its agility and cleverness, as well as its deceptive cuddliness. This is the only guide to the art of capturing and killing the elusive Care Bear, penned by a man who has hunted, hated, and been haunted by the fuzzy might and majesty of the Care Bear.
First thing’s first: Keep your distance. If you get too close, the Care Bears will try to hug you. Either one at a time or as a group. Avoid contact at all costs. If you find yourself in the midst of a hugging, ride it out. Let it run its natural course—which will be longer than you expect. The psychological damage of a hug lasting six hours or longer is immeasurable and can require self-termination. My schoolmate Rupert was hugged for that length, and now works in theatre. Poor Rupert—Better to die with honor than spend the rest of your days a limp-wristed nancy"


I have been hugged by a carebear, and the care bear stare keeps me scared straight

Reasons why Lisa is Beautiful to Me

1) We all know Lisa is a physically beautiful woman, but we arent necessarily talking about her outer beauty today, we are going to discuss her inner beauty.
2) Lisa is the only one in the world who is driven and determined to accomplish everything all at one time. She has no limits when it comes to accomplishments. I find this very beautiful, and somewhat frustrating when she expects the same from me-lol
3) Lisa quirks - Her little quirks which I wont go into any detail , but they are truly so cute that they are beautiful to me.
4) Lisa sense of moral and value - every person should have these, but Lisa is the model of morals and values. This is very beautiful to me.
5) Ok, I know I wasnt supposed to go into this - But I love your hair honey.
6) The way she carries herself. Its beautiful to me. She makes me smile, all she has to do is walk in the room.
7) The way she looks at me. This is also very beautiful to me, and no she doesnt look at me like a bag of popcorn with a huge juicy pickle tucked inside.
8) I will continue this later - work wants me to work now.

james avery

So there is this silver shop called james avery. They make hand made jewelry and charm bracelets. Lisa has came to adore the little charms which they sell. I have came to obsess over completing Lisa's collection. I really want them to make a pickle charm. They havent til this point, I even emailed them requesting they make a pickle just for Lisa with no response.

Needless to say, They are not my favorite people, because they wont make what Lisa wants most. A silver pickle. The other 300 charms Lisa wants as well, they will come eventually.

But please James Avery - You need to make a pickle

First Day of School

So I was shocked, and Lisa was petrified. 100's of 7 year olds dressed as vixens, catholic school girls, strippers, and baby prostitutes.

A police officer escorted his prostitute in the school. A maybe 6" mini skirt hides her pre-puberty body. I bet she has a pole to dance on for her daddy at home. I want to barf.

They will all work for Hugh in a few more years.

So I told Lisa, they are this worried about their looks now. Wait til they get older. Anthony has no chance. Even the ugliest littel girl is dressed like a diva. With this attire I expect half of these girls to be pregnant by 6th grade. The new standard for the upcoming generation seems to be use your body to get what you want. But wait, 7 year old boys dont even like girls. Hopefully this is just a fad- Britney Spears - stay away from our elementary kids.

Lisa didnt even say anything about the tight little pants the boys where. Where did these come from. Whats the point. Pants that are so tight you cant run. - When your a kid your supposed to run. Oh wait! This generation is more concerned about video games. They consume the life out of kids. Every kid destined to be an overweight Diva. This should be interesting. Guess we know where that Drop Dead Diva idea came from.

Lisa and Keanu Reeves

So lately all Lisa's blogs have been about Keanu. Now, personally I dont have anything against Mr Reeves, but I'm worried now that he is single. Lisa's jealousy of Keanu hanging out with that stupid charlie angel wannabe Camaron, just proves to me I should be really worried about Keanu and his intentions. If he searches his name on the internet, he will surely find Lisa's mesmorizing blog, and surely see how truly cute and wonderful she is from reading her blog. Then he will surely want to meet her. I see exactly where this is going. Keanu, Lisa is mine - stay away - we will watch your movies, snuggled up to each other in bed, thats as close as you are going to get to my Lisa. You are not welcome at my house.

Mr Slater, you are welcome at my house. Only because Lisa deems you as old and gross now that you have past up your prime.


Thats all - just needed to rant.

Fatten me up?

I have come to the conclusion, quite possibly, that Lisa is trying to fatten me up.

She bakes all these wonderful meals, and wonderful deserts and I cant help to eat them all up. Last night, for dinner, she makes tuna helper, cinnimon rolls, and Apple Yummies. I used the word yummies, because i really dont know what they are called. I just know they are delicious and probably completely non-nutricious.

This morning, Lisa gives me a bag with more Apple yummies, Cookies, Chocolate Chex Mix, and Oreos. She might be just trying to get them out of the house, or she might have a secret agenda to fatten me up for Thanksgiving Dinner.

Either way - Lisa can cook. I'm so lucky. If i disapear around Thanksgiving and Lisa has alot of extra brisket - you know what happened.

Catfish on Wheels

Normally, I wouldnt eat seafood, much less from a rolling restaurant. But being as food was brought due to a charitable cause, and I knew the cook. I decided to donate towards this cause and buy a plate.

This heaping of a plate filled with catfish,shrimp, and french fries. was a very generous amount.
How this money is actually going to the family and not the food, I have no clue.

Being from Florida, Fish taste different to me here. Fish with a Fishy Taste doesnt tickle my taste buds. I know what your thinking. - Its fish, Its supposed to taste like fish. All I'm saying is the gulf, has a certain taste that sticks to the animals that reside in it.

So after talking to my friend, And being tricked into thinking the breaded catfish was chicken. I tried it. The catfish was suprisingly good. How was I supposed to know that the catfish is a fresh water fish, that doesnt visit the gulf.

The shrimp on the other hand I dont care for, and everyone else's plate is so big , they wont even take the shrimp from me. Fries were delicious.

Nothing like donating to a good cause and having a full belly. Lisa will be proud of me for trying something new.

stupid diet!

So in my very best efforts to be supportive for my awesome other half "Lisa" . I have read 10 steps to be supportive for those people on a diet.

I am the cheerleader , the confidant, the supporter, I always try to show the positive.

the weight she expects to lose and the actual weight that is coming off are 2 different numbers. I'm trying to be supportive as possible. "Honey, its percentage based. Just becuase a 500lb woman lost 100lbs doesnt mean you can lose 100 lbs. " You dont weigh much more than 100 lbs anyway. Take time and let this work. Dont obsess. I love you the way you are.

I'm very proud of her, I'm sure its hard to give up popcorn, dp, chocolate, cake, bread, more bread, pillsbury - these are a necessity for Lisa's happiness.

I have been trained - if she is mad, give her food. If she is sad, give her food. I take full responsibility for this honey. Truly I'm sorry.

south beach phase 1 (continued)

After reading Lisa's post. I had to continue on the story. I have officially giving up the south beach diet , though still trying to be supportive of Lisa and her goal. Lisa said I dont need to lose any weight, and I understand this, though sometimes I wish my Ryan Reynolds 6 pack would mysteriously appear., without any contribution on my part.

Lisa is still very irritable, I have came to the conclusion that I cannot make her happy, Its all about the carbs and feeding her. My sporatic breakfast cooking has not happened, though I think making her breakfast really helps her mood.

I have been cooking more. I made hamburgers, and pork steaks on the grill monday night, and pizza last night, though Anthony wouldnt help me finish the pizza - so I had enough carbs for all of us yesterday. I think my stomach didnt appreciate the pizza, becuase it kept me up all night.I remember every dream I had last night inbetween naps. All depressing with a bad ending. Funny, I only wish carbs had the same effect on me.

But Kudos for Lisa, She is doing a really good job . I'm proud of her at any weight.

Carbs and South Beach Diet

Lisa has started the "South Beach Diet". I have accepted the good eating habits associated with this program. I have to be supportive of my loved one.

So Day 1 (Monday) - No Carbs all day. I had a craving for a snickers bar at lunch, so I avoided the candy machine by walking around the building the rest of the day. Other than this I was good.
Night time comes - I dont sleep. I wasnt really thinking of anything in particular- my body just didnt want to sleep.

Day 2 (Tuesday) though I didnt sleep all night, I was awake in the morning , like more than usual - I felt great. no carbs - no sleep.

Day 3(Wednesday) - decided to eat carbs for dinner. I'm mostly skinny. a few carbs wont hurt. I slept like a baby.


Lisa is struggling, I understand - no bread, no fruit, no chocolate, no popcorn. She is grouchy, but I understand why. I have to be supportive, but I dont know what to say, or what to do. She will be happy in the long run, as soon as she conquers this hurdle. She is persistant, and determined. I just want her happy, regardless of whatever she weighs.

Jelly Fish Take Over.

I went to do some audits in Point Comfort yesterday. While walking to the Ship, I was overwhelmed by the amounts of Jellyfish in the Green( Not so polluted water) If I was going to guess there were easily 1,000,000 jelly fish.

The masses of Jelly fish would make any poor accident proned man/woman a very bad case of Jelly fish stings if they so happened fall in the water. Being as there was 2" to 6" inbetween each one. Would that person die? Would they be in critical condition? Where did all these come from? What are their intentions? All these were questions I still have no answers for.

Sarah Palin Math Statistics

http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenumbers/2009/07/sarah-palin-up-among-republicans.html

So according to the newest poll we can verify that 76% of republicans are completely retarded, thinking its acceptable to have a moron run the country. Versus 25% of Democrats who thing the same thing. NOW the scary part. IF the number of democrats and republicans were statistically equal in this county. Sarah Palin would win by 1% of the vote.

Another reason not to have a snake.

It will kill your daughter.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090701/ap_on_re_us/us_python_strangling

animals in the news (crop circles explained)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090625/wl_nm/us_australia_wallabies

Crop circles are now explained by the above article. We should have known years ago its the stoned wallabies.

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=6883068&rss=rss-ktrk-article-6883068

This article shows how grass fires are caused. I never knew vultures were arsonist.

Seems the news has nothing else better to write about. Good for them.

Chunk and Dane Cook

So Lisa and I had the pleasure of going to see Dane Cook this weekend. We had bought cheap seats, and Dane hooked us up 15 rows from floor. Thanks Dane. But at the same time dane hooked up chunk from the goonies, with row 16 seats. Yeah if you were in section 126 Row 16, I'm sure you either heard or were affiliated with the goonies crew.

Chunks annoying laugh, over powered dane's performance. If the laugh alone wasnt annoying enough Chunk (which I think was a girl) Laughed at comments that just were not funny. Like when Dane said his parents died of cancer 9 months ago - Chunk laughed so hard. Friend of Chunk had to be embarrassed. Who the hell thinks thats funny. Everytime Dane talked Chunk laughed. A loud hideous laugh that only could be subdued with a bowl of ice cream or duct tape.

The first guy and Dane were great. The second commedian - was not worth standing on stage. Though his talk about hypotheticals woman give men came in handy on sunday after watching the proposal. It gave us a good laugh.

Chunk is still alive. I even let out a loud " Hey you guys! " when we left - Chunk probably looked for hours for his long lost friend. But thanks for about ruining dane cook's show - chunk you suck.

Mr. Slater

after my former post about Twitter being a retarded celebrity stalker site. I have recently changed my view. Mr. Slater has added me as a friend so now I can have direct dialogue with him. I am 18 steps closer to getting him to be the ring bearer for Lisa and I's wedding.

He will come - even if we have to pay for his plane ticket, and let him stay at the house. - I will lock Lisa away so he doesnt try to get his little pervert hands on her. - Because I know he has good taste, and will find Lisa very adorable.

But he will be there - regardless. I am confident in my mission.

Mother of the Day

I have decided reading the news about mothers/father's killing their children deserves a spot in my blog.
So this blog is dedicated to all the parents who sufficate, stab, beat, shake, throw their child to the point of death. Why have children if 1) You cant control yourself 2) Have any urges to beat anyone 3) And Umm really can't control yourself.

This article - http://www.39online.com/news/nationworld/sns-ap-us-toddler-stabbed,0,919107.story

Stabbed her daughter over 100 times? WTF! How many times do you have to do it before you say - Hmm - what the hell am I doing. - obviously for her over 100 times.

The lawyer says she has history of mental problems - so why was she having a baby in the first place?

So many questions I'll never have the answers too.

Twitter

So Lisa signed up for Twitter to see what all the hyoe is about. I joined, for some reason I cant stand the thought of being left out - Just incase it really is cool. So I sign up as well.

Ok , I can offically say Tweeter is retarded. Who wants to know everytime a Celebrity goes to the bathroom?
Entertaining time - 2 minutes.

Farmtown Intervention?

Lisa came home one day addicted to farm town. This is the new rage on facebook, if you didn't know this. Basically you build a farm plow , plant seeds and harvest them for coin to buy more plowing, plant more seeds and harvest more crops, so you can expand your farm, plow more, plant more seeds, and harvest more crops.

I compare it to the old coke commercials - where the guy is walking around in circles working harder and harder to buy more coke, what they never told you is eventually he finds out work is overrated and just starts robbing and stealing to get his coke.

Lisa goes to work on her homework , while I clean up a little. Homework is now Farm town. I see her caught in the downward spiral of the coke commercial, desperately calling for intervention. IS it too late to save her.

Then the other night, she needs more friends so she can sell animals to plant more crops, to get more money - You understand the routine now.

I decide to help her out and create my own farm. Now Lisa is falling asleep, and I cant seem to look away from the computer , because I am engorged in the idea of having a bigger farm, planting more crops to get more money.

Help us we really need an intervention!

Rob again - I have to pick on him.

Ok Rob. I know your "supposed to be" a vampire - but dude you need
some sun - seriously. You look like an Albino. And grow some hair kid - maybe it will hide some of that paleness and skin imperfections - Man I would hate to see you in High Definition.

But again thank you, because if you are the new cool guy. I move up again
on the sexy ladder.

The more retarded, pale, deformed and gross you look, the sexier Lisa
finds me to be.

Happy Birthday to me.

Lisa,

You are truly amazing. Its not the awesome Ipod that you gave me, Its all about the enjoyment. The time we get together, the amount of interest you take in making me happy.

Lisa planned a suprise dinner for me, with my friends and a few of hers. It was very thoughtful, and the cheesecake was delicious.

Tuesday we went to Boliver, Lisa said she had never been on the ferry. Being as it has been over 8 months since Ike, I figured this was a safe trip. The ferry was great, Lisa seemed at ease - especially since I finally got her on a boat. - I was proud of her. Trying to make it an enjoyous adventure, I simply didn't think about all the destruction that Ike had left. There were still cars piled up, washers, dryers, and refigerators. It was literally depressing.
Then we had car trouble before getting on the ferry to return home. Lisa was calm and completely supportive the entire time.

Wednesday, We went downtown to find an underground mall, I have heard about and wanted to find since I was a kid. I was very disapointed, It did not live up to the expectations I had made in my head over the past 15 years. Anthony got sick at school, so we came home and knocked out about 2 hours of 30Rock. I swear Alec Baldwin is hilarious. Lisa took me to dinner, only expecting her family to be there. I did a double take when I saw my best friend Kevin at the table. Caleb smiled at me the whole time - He really enjoyed me having a birthday.

Anyways Lisa is the most thoughtful , caring, unselfish person I have ever known. This blog is just for me to show my appreciation to her, in debt for her love, warm, caring, and consideration.
I love you honey.

Rob Pattinson

Atleast I know my woman has taste - Rob doesnt look good on a normal basis.

Maybe its becuase he needs a haircut.?

Maybe its too much eyeliner?

Maybe its because he has way too much lipstick on?

Maybe its becuase it hasnt been cool to flip up your collar since Back to the Future 1 was popular?

Anyways - I look better than you Rob - Lisa says so!

Jury Duty - A look at modern morals and values of the typical moron.

So rise and shine Monday morning. After a late night of margaritas by the yard, (stomach not so happy with my choice of drinks) and Robin Thicke - romancing my woman. I depart for jury duty downtown.

After getting into the ghetto shortcut. (Navigation) Yes, Rene I know this is your neighborhood, but I also know when I dont belong somewhere. I realize I need cash for parking.

Store #1 - after stares of patrons - I realize the Atm is broken - I doubt it is out of cash. I dash back to the Jeep to hide behind its tinted windows.

Store #2 - after stares from patrons, and stepping over the drunk guy on the front sidewalk. I realize this Atm is also broken. thinking these robbers must have cleaned out the whole area, I pout and continue to sneak to the store.

Store #3 gives me money - and on my way I go - avoiding eye contact with anybody.

Arriving downtown - I find the array of courthouses and pick a parking lot - directly in the middle of them. I park facing the exit - for a quick getaway once I get realized from jury duty.

$15 a day - sounds like an astro game parking lot rip off - but what the hell I'm close right? Wrong.

2 blocks away I find the address to the Jury Detention Center. You can park underneath it for $5.50 - WTF? That should have been on my summons. I painfully walk into the building and wander to the Detention Hall. 7:40Am.

8:32Am the rest of Houston enters the Jury Detention Hall. A girl with flip flops sits down besides me. Kicks off her flip flops and quickly goes to sleep. I'm sitting here thinking to myself.

" Don't make a face, god I hope her feet don't smell, she looks like a Methhead, What does a Methhead actually look like? How can you Sleep in here? How can you think its appropriate to take your shoes off in a Jury Detention Center? So many questions I will never make sense of.

After hearing - "Thank you for coming, and serving your civic duty" in 27 languages.

Deciding that there are approx. 800 seats that are over capacity,(Where is the Fire Marshall when you need him)the room is 160ft by 80 ft and that 12,800 sq feet is a really big room. (Yes I counted the ceiling tiles which are 2' by 2'). I decide I need to relieve myself of some of the 2 yards of Margarita I drank last night.

I stroll into the Dentention Center Bathrooms. Here are all the Jurors - there must be 100 people in here. While waiting in line - I realize that a man must ber having a baby in one of the stalls, or passing kidney stones. His Screams of torment remind of the movie "Saw". This is really disturbing - but its my turn now to proceed to a urinal. So I try to block out the man's cries of pain.

While walking up to the urinal - I realize the man next to me is either retarded or never learned to pee the right way. His pants are around his ankles. - I'm thinking - OMG!, do I have to pee next to this guy? Is he a pervert? I just saw a dude's ass. - 10 million thoughts are running through my head - while the man is still having a baby in the stall behind me. - I pee and run to the sink.

There is no line at the sink - these guys dont wash their hands- gross. I will refrain from touching door handles, chairs or anything else at this point.

Meanwhile back at my seat. The girl with her shameless skis as feet has become more comfortable in her stage of sleep. legs and feet everywhere. I choose to stand for my remainder of jury dentention.

When finally released I run like hell.

Childhood Crushes

As Lisa knows I too had a child hood crush on Christian Slater. Not that I wanted to boink him or anything, I just thought he was cool. Everything Christian Slater was cool. Gleaming the Cube started this, Heathers, Kuffs, True Romance - all lived up to my expectations.

MacGyver was also in this childhood- I wanna be like him phase. Anyone who can fix a radiator with a paperclip and an egg - is cool. MythBusters ruined my image of Macgyver by busting all his myths.

Girls I thought were awesome - and should have been mine. Winonna Ryder, Beetlejuice and Heathers.
Elizabeth Hurley - She is still yummy.
Jennifer Love Hewitt - This was short lived.
Noone else memorable.

My Adult Woman Crush is Definitely Lisa. There is not a woman on the face of this earth that has more carisma, more intelligence, more consideration, more gratitude, more just pure sexiness than Lisa. I am truly lucky!

what are we going to do now?

Lisa finished her organizing conquest, All the cabinets are neatly organized. I got the Jeep running, and I'm hoping her brakes don't sqeak. The lawn is mowed , though I still have to weedeat. The house is clean. We had a heck of a week.

I think its time to relax and enjoy our accomplishments.

IT Department Rant

This is dedicated to those computer nerds who answer the phone and take care of your technical needs and provide support for your computer issues.

I made a program for work that prints out chemical tags, bill of ladings and chain of custodies for various chemicals to be shipped. It has a MSDS data base and a Address databased from which it pulls all the info from to make the items aboved mentioned.

My problem is with the tag printer. tags are $0.04 a piece. we make about 30,000 a year nationwide. There are hardly any vendors which sell label printers, and even fewer that are on our company approved vendor list. So we have to use Zebra.

The printer prints tags - just the alignment is off. So after 2 days of dealing with my companies IT department, I get a contact at Zebra. I find out they are closed on Friday. The contact is sick on Monday. Doesnt answer the phone or return messages - Tues and Wed. Thursay - I finally get through.

After getting transferred around 5 or 6 times. I found out that I dont have the authority to make necessary changes in my system - so now I need the 2 IT departments to communicate together. These IT people have their own unique language, and I found out that they really can't communicate with each other either.

Long story short - I am still waiting on IT - its friday again zebra is closed. my alignment issue is fixed but now I have a blank tag inbetween each. only a $1200 mistake. I'll wait til monday and see how this pans out.

Organization and Chaos

So Lisa has developed an Obsessive Compulsive We need to Clean and Organize our whole house this week syndrome. Normally , I'm ok with this, I mean as long as I can find what I'm looking for who cares if its in a bin with a label on it.

She is panicked and overwhelmed with the disorder. I'm not saying I dont contribute to it, I dont have her complete order down, sometimes its alphabetical, assending or decending, numeric, sometimes its off of genre, mood, sometimes it makes no sense at all.

We had boxes and boxes of movies for yard sales in the closet , I hurried and dug out movies to sell at the yard sale. - less stuff = more room. I was in a hurry to put these out, so I didnt clean up my mess. (I will always clean up my mess if I see it, out of sight out of mind - completely me- not intetionally - but I just forget). Anyways , Lisa opened the closet door. Her face turns red. Her breathing increases - I can see the look in her face. I must distract her fast, or she is going to blow. So I send her to bed quickly - promising to clean up and pick up shelves to put in the closet tomorrow.

This is inbetween selling stuff on craigslist, dinner for her nomination (which I am very proud of her) fixing her brakes - which just want to squeak. - I have taken them apart and put them back together 3 times now. tuning up the truck - that hasnt had a tune up in 30 years, becuase the spark plugs were rusted to the engine, trying to keep the house clean for her upcoming pampered chef party, washing clothes, messing with the dishwasher repair man, trying to get the post office to fix the mailbox etc. - lawn on the back burner.

Well , we got the closet done at 9:30 last night. (thats when Lisa finally came out of the closet). So drained I fell into a deep sleep quickly, I couldnt even move.
The brakes still squeak.
The truck still need work.
the Lawn still needs mowed.
The lock on the mailbox is still broken.
The whole house is not perfectly clean.
The dishwasher may not be fixed.

But the closet is clean and organized.

Lisa and animals.

Ok for all you pet lovers, I can't help you. She really shows no emotion for animals.





One day she called me, first thing she asks - "are possums stupid?" I'm thinking to myself, why is she asking me this?, is this a joke - I answer carefully," I'm not sure honey, why do you ask?"


She answers happily. " Because there are 5 dead on the road, you would figure after the first one got ran over the rest would have ran or something" " They must be really stupid". Then she concluded that they all had a mass possum suicide.





All I could do was laugh. Where does she come up with this stuff? I would have thought, yuck thats nasty, I hope none of that sticks to my tires or flings up on my car. My car will stink for weeks, but Lisa just wonders how they can all be so stupid, or did they have a suicide pack?





She sometimes has the idea of getting a puppy. A beagal to be exact. I think years of loving snoopy has touched that pet side of her brain (just a little bit) That usually last about 5 minutes, til her next rant on animals, or when I remind her how allergic she is to them.

I have to agree with Lisa on letting a dog lick you, your face, doggy kisses, or whatever else you call it. They really eat poop. That crap about a dog having a clean mouth, yeah - we are not going to take your word on it. You might as well eat poop too - and we don't want to watch.

PS: When it comes to you taking your animals to the doctor and spending money, don't bother telling her about it, then I have to heasr her rant about how many bills you could have paid off, or bought that new car you have been wanting.





Yes I know possum has an "o" in front - I refuse to conform, it looks stupid.

Friday Night.

So Lisa and I planned date night Friday Night. We ahven't had a date night in a while, So I was excited. There is nothing like quality time.

Lisa comes home, not in the greastest mood, but its manageable. She has bad days sometimes, most I can do , is just hope I can distract her.

So we head out to the movies. She really wants to see this movie "obsessed" with Beyonce. We get our tickets at the Hollywood. No line on Friday night, this is amazing. We are in the concession line. Pickles come in a bag - this is a really big disapointment for Lisa. I feel upset for her, but at the same token, I'm happy, because she won't mix her pickle in the popcorn.

The movie starts - The crazy girl in the movie is named "Lisa". And every time I hear her name

I have the tendency to look over at Lisa. Lisa's name reminds me of my true love and other half.

So everytime I look over, Lisa goes what I'm not like that. She seems really self concious. Maybe she has a little bit of phsyco tendencies that I havent seen yet. I continue to mess with her throughout the movie. It was alot of fun. The movie was good, I won't spoil it for the rest of you.

We come out of the movie to lisa getting texts about it flooding. Just the luck. With my car getting flooded out the week before, we only have 2 cars left, and we are in the worst spot known in pasadena to flood at a drop of a hat.

So we run through the pouring rain, jump in the car, and vow to find higher ground and beat the hail storm, and trencherous flood water that we know is imminent. about an hour later, after sitting in a strangers driveway for 30 minutes, we make it home.

Date night is rained out, but we made it home with no property damage, no flooded cars, and each other, thats good enough for me.

pickles and popcorn!

So Lisa likes to remind me on occassion her unusual fetish which is sticking her pickle in the bowl of popcorn when I'm not looking. This produces a look on my face (mixture of bitter beer face, and that look someone gets right before they vomit.)

Well after futher research, I have discovered there is actually a market for this kind of thing. Some people actually like pickle flavored popcorn. I support anything that makes you happy Lisa, but if your gonna dip please use a seperate bowl, or tell me you have conquered the popcorn bowl and I cant have anymore. I love you honey - but this goes along with mixing food, I just cant seem to enjoy the taste of these two mixed together.

Lisa

All my life, I couldnt have told you what was missing from it. I can't even tell you I knew something was missing. Then for some reason coincidence brings this wonderful woman into my life. The more we talked the more I realized that so many coincidences have put us within arms reach throughout our life, that it could only be fate.

I cant say I always believed in fate, but not only can I say now I believe in fate now, but I can also say I feel complete.

Never before in my life have I met someone with so much conviction, so much compassion for helping people, someone that is just a perfect match for me. Surely, I believe if there was a heaven on earth, its in her arms.

I have found my soulmate, my one desire, the one who makes me truly happy.

Sure, She has her quirks, and we have our differences from time to time. When the day is done though, There is no place I would rather be than next to my angel, Lisa.

Thank you honey for being in my life.

houndstooth

As popular as houndstooth is I've spend over 3 hours looking for a black or grey houndstooth duvet cover. This wold make lisa really happy. After finding one online at williams sonoma, I discover its out of stock. The customer service rep at williams sonoma was very nice, but out of 200 stores across the nation this duvet cover doesnt exist except in pictures.

I've resulted in looking for someone who makes custom duvet covers to acheive this goal which I have set for myself.

After over 300 websites - some 35 times - still nothing.

Lisa up all night (Response to L & O post)

Apparently I passed out the other night, before Lisa.

In the morning, I did my usual careful poke and prod, a few nudges - Lisa was unusually grumpy. Sometimes she is grumpy, normally I hear a "good morning honey" in this cute little girl voice. (As demented as it is - I like this little voice).

Lisa tells me she took Tylenol Pm too late. She moved unusually slow - I left to work, while she was getting ready. I didn't find out til hours later after several IM conversations (which sometimes made little sense) that she had been up all night.

So after work, I pick up Anthony. I explain to him his mom is very tired, and will probably go straight to bed. So we will have to fend for ourselves for dinner. he is upset becuase his mom, cooks with love, obviously I don't. (He got this idea when I had to explain to him that brocolli was good, and his mom slaved over the stove and cooked dinner for him and myself with much love and dedication.) i told him I could cook with much love - but it was usually pb and jelly -lol. cooking and preparing - are interelated in my vocabulary.

Lisa as tired as she was, comes home and decides to rearrange the kitchen. This I didnt expect.
an hour later - we are alot more organized than before. If I participate, then when I empty the dishwasher I know where things go. ( So she got complete participation on my part.)

We watch L&O , I rubbed her head - she finally fell asleep around midnight. I was really glad this morning, when she said she slept well last night. mission accomplished.

Where to begin?

The whole idea of me making this post is to get lisa to start posting on hers. The last thing that really disturbed me, was a foot bath in the dining area of Willy's Ice House. Lisa explained they have a sandbox outside, and people need to wash their feet. There is a dining table within a 4 foot radius of the appalling foot bath. If I was sitting at said table eating, and a random person with appalling feet went to wash them - I honestly don't know if I could keep control of my food from exiting my stomach. The last thing I was to see is fat, long, hairy, hobbit, gnome, boat feet, or any combination of the previously mentioned while I'm eating.

Lisa took a picture of said foot bath, but honestly their should be some health code violation for such a thing. I stared at it the whole time while I ate my chicken salad.